This I Am

This I am

I left it in New Orleans, cursed by that relentless tide
Never to subside
I left it a crumpled mess, just like The Entry and all those
Relentless boys that… tried
Oh mama never said a girl would become as big as all those
Lies
…lied

 

Shied, like the devil who fell into a sideways grave
Oh how those days… just won’t behave, when they traipse ‘round
These holy grounds
Hollow… not holy… cuz I just keep trying to empty them
Of all we done
Down
County Cork
Down that road, with that dark-and-fallow fork

 

Just us kids… not knowin just how shallow
The water really is
Or the depth of his reach
Nor the lessons
Those Quarters, and his ‘no-quarters’… preach
Or the demons they eventually…
unleash

 

Oh dark and troubled days
You’re the death that stalks my ways
And leaves them shudderin’
Shudderin’…
A shudderin’…
display

 

La Fée

10/22/2018

© Odyne La Fée 2018

 

A Victory of Geometry

cas

The travesty comes in the geometry of lives that never intersect

Never having a chance to dissect, all that makes them breathe

A travesty cast in shadows on unfamiliar streets

For she walks alone, like always

But he… he is the dancing fool, always making romance

With everything he sees

 

But it was the sorrow trapped within her heart

That propelled him from the start.

 

Down by the docks she stalks the night like a prowler

Always looking for a reward, always ambling sea-ward

Onward

Towards better days

A release from the endless malaise, and that hollow haze

Out into the ocean she goes… for she knows… there is no potion

That can ever erase the lessons of war

Or that final score

Still to be set

A life, that was the off-set, and there is no re-set,

And no contractual

 

…end

 

And yet he looks sky-ward, west-ward, towards

That darkening night, and all of her mystery;

Until the sea… or he… has finally claimed…

 

 

victory.

 

 

La Fée


10/15/2018


© Odyne La Fée 2018

 

 

 

Undone

 

woman with bangs portrait photo
Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Pexels.com

 

I roll the disappointment around my tongue…

Like yesterday’s milk left out in the sun

Oh how you reek of things never begun

A person who forgot how to be…

 

someone

 

 

Fail me now you bitter thing

For you are as flimsy as the promises you sling

 

Because night has come to swallow you whole

 

For into that bottomless pit, you stole

Into that tiny little pinhole

You call life

 

 

Why…

 

I see it now

as clearly as if

I were

 

Your

 

Only

 

Strife

 

 

Remind me again…

That taste of your fear

Whenever life comes too near

 

 

Why…

 

And just so we are clear…

 

That fear

 

Was always

Sincere

 

Still…

 

 

You…

 

You bore me to death

 

For you are as bereft of color as that vintage pose

For I see in you now…

there was never anything to expose

 

No mystery

 

Beneath all that…

 

Melrose

 

 

La Fée


10/09/2018


© Odyne La Fée 2018

What Heart Is This

IMG_4928

You beat like sunrise on a desert sky

You thrum like the endless ocean tide

You burn like autumn in a northern clime

And yet still you are not mine

 

Oh, detest me if you will

Tender heart for the pain I instill

Through this terrible dream

A nightmare as beautiful as any seen

 

Yet what heart is this

That still cannot resist

Forever’s fatal twist

Or fate’s ironic kiss

 

What heart is this

That ever-survives

Because a stranger

Lives and thrives

 

 

La Fée


10/06/2018


© Odyne La Fée 2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Murdered Mime

to the bone redo

Today I sat with Kierkegaard and Tolstoy… Nietzsche was there too… as was Plath, and Woolf.  And just like we were all old friends we sat and talked over my afternoon tea and a contemplative smoke.  And together we wandered in the malaise that was, and is, life.  And I wondered at all the brilliance, despite the darkness that seemed to haunt every thought, as well as the darkness that lingered… despite the harsh afternoon sun.  And well… I saw then… all of them… the paths we had yet to wander, and the thoughts we had yet to ponder… and yet… in the seeing… was utterly devastated.  For I saw then, what I had ever-refused before, a path that led you not here, to my waiting door… oh, how I had thought… and in that surety knew… what our eager hearts would do.  But this… this bitter consideration was something new.  What then did my aged advisors tell me to do?  What conjure did they claim would ward-off this devastating blow?  Why… they were as dumb and as deaf as a murdered mime, and their words rang with the hollow bitterness of time.  But in their silence gave… a much-needed clue.

 

La Fée

 10/03/2018

 © Odyne La Fée 2018

 

It Should Burn

CheersBlindConfusion.png
Cheers Blind Confusion by Joaquin Allen

It should burn, like a fire
A raging desire, as hot as any sun
It should consume, at a touch
It should feel like it’s nearly too much
Don’t stop
Never let it stop
Never let it stop
Once begun
It will drive you to new heights
And depths… oh the depths you will plumb
Ten thousand directions
And when you know… La Fée
You’ll know them all
As one

It should ache, like a famine
A toothache examined, and then reexamined
It should hurt, and throb, and drive you
To distraction
But give you traction
Compel you into… action
For the rapture
The seizure
You know follows the fever
Oh misbeliever,
What meager dreams
What petty schemes
Have you locked in at the seams?
When all along…
Just there…. at your fingertips…
An entire regime?

 

La Fée
10/03/2018
© Odyne La Fée 2018

 

 

Mount

Mount 2He is the unbroken one, the outspoken one,

the oaken one with famine in his eyes;

and how he hates all of the lies, and the shit

they supply.

 

A gravity behind the disguise, pulls him towards the sun

where he’ll be undone,

under the gun he cannot run, but falls, falls into a restless wind,

where all thoughts rescind and memories… thinned.

 

He’s a wanderer, a ponderer, and a lonely launderer of dirty deeds

and darker needs, and yet… all passions sought and bought are eventually sold.

 

He tells himself he’s not too old, denies it ‘til he’s distraught.

But it’s all been for naught, for it’s he who’s been caught.

 

For the night is fraught for the querulous cowboy,

the envoy,

who can’t seem to enjoy, or employ all the wilder things,

imaginings often brings,

even when his lonely heart sings.

 

La Fée

©  Odyne La Fée 2018

 

Unhinged

cas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tender you

Oh, how I render you

Helpless

Hapless

A stumbling bumble of

Babbling bits

I slay you

But never betray you

Display you

As you’ve never been shown before

Push you through that

Unhinged door

It’s time darling…

You learned how to explore

La Fée

09/09/2018

©  Odyne La Fée 2018

The Narcissist

Chop

You thought you knew the secret wishes of my tender heart

Yet a thousand words without a question, is such a terrible start

You call it obsession, but it’s really suppression, of all but what you hope I’ll be

Tell me, what glamour is it that you see?

 

You thought you spoke a mysterious tongue

Noble and gentle like a wedding song sung

But slippery words are the devil’s work, and now… her work’s begun

 

For she sees in you that inward gaze

How it colors all your lovelies in such a tarnished haze

You, and your scrumptious malaise

Mmmm You didn’t know… that’s just my sort of craze

 

So darlin’, sit back and relax, I’ve got some entertaining to do

And try not to mind the sting when I chew

Oh, baby didn’t you know…

A narcissist is just sorta man I love to pursue?

 

La Fée

 

©  Odyne La Fée 2018

Home

me 3

Amor est in domum suam.

 

Mother didn’t braid my hair.  There were no ribbons and no bows.

Cuz mother didn’t know how to let her light show.

 

And father… well he didn’t know… or maybe care to protect.

For father didn’t understand that ‘girl’ didn’t mean object.

 

Home then became a desolate place, I tried desperately to erase.

And love… well that became the coup de grâce.

 

Until I learned, that love and home is what you embrace – not blood or birthplace.

 

La Fée

08/22/2018

 

©  Odyne La Fée 2018

In Kind

Be Kind

It takes kind, to see kind… a like for every mind

Yours a dark and tangled knot… with a square-knot plot

gone awry.  Goddamn, and still you try… yet never will you comply

I get your reasons, but you forget that the seasons are always new

And treasons of the heart… well, they fall apart when you’re dealing with abstract art

So what will you do, chew… and stew… tell yourself that you’ll make do

When all along La Fée could have freed you?

 

La Fée

 

©  Odyne La Fée 2018

Broken Thing

Broken Thing

He’s broken and I know

Things he lets show give him away

still I tell him “stay…”

 

He cries at night when he thinks no one can hear

but I’ve got an ear, for this type of thing

so I come awake just to watch him sting

 

I drown in his grief, like it’s some

kind of relief, and it makes me ache all the more

for him… what dark path would I not explore?

 

And oh… how his suffering ensnares me

and his cries… an unholy prayer to Thee

engenders a virtuous need in me, and yet…

it’s a vulturous greed

that takes seed

La Fée

 

©  Odyne La Fée 2018

Santo

Santo

 

Fast now

as fast as you

can, this girl

has ran

Fast now and

we’ll all pray

The world is melting,

going away

From iceberg

to iceberg

a suicide

of biblical

proportions, made mythical

It’s fast now

fast as you

ran, sniff the flowers

while you can

Remember the towers

These evil powers

make us run

out into a blazing sun

when all we need

in nature’s seed

They’re killing thee

You’ll see..

with their boundless

foundless greed

 

La Fée

 

©  Odyne La Fée 2018